Game 7: Ice Climbers (1984)

OK, I'm going to be blunt. I only vaguely remember this game from childhood, and didn't think about it until the Ice Climbers were added to SSBM. I didn't really enjoy this game that much, and we barely played it for the minimum 30 minutes before moving on. There is nothing inherently boring about the game: it is a straight forward arcade style platformer, but it just didn't click for me. The graphics are charming and clean, there is some nice little music and sound, but something is still missing.

It also helps you learn how to count.

To start with, it's boring. You climb up. The title is quite literal in that sense. You are on the inside of a mountain, I guess, and slowly making your way upwards. You can knock out the blocks above you and move up to other platforms, and attack enemies with a mallet. When you reach the top of the stage, you have the chance to get more points in a bonus round in blizzard like conditions. This is significantly harder, but it is the main way to get points in the game. Due to the strict level based structure of the game, there appears to be no use for points, unlike Joust and Mario Bros., where points were used to earn extra lives and get further in the game.

Action shot.

Technically, I can't complain: this game looks great, has the most complex sound we've heard yet, only slightly awkward jumping, and a multitude of levels to choose from. The graphics are honestly fantastic: while there is a certain existential feel (am I between mountains? Are the mountains stacked? what are these numbers?) inherent in mostly older games, the sprites are cute, clean, well animated, and everything else. This game has the best music of anything else we've played. The controls feel right, although the jump parabola isn't ideal and feels clumsy, but nothing serious.The problem is, I just couldn't summon any enthusiasm to play this game. You are able to select which level you want to play when you start, and there are 32 in total, with varying levels of difficulty. I couldn't tell you the difference between them though, even if you held a gun to my head.

This is as boring as it looks.

I understand that this is a classic Nintendo property, but there is nothing here that makes me want to play it again. Maybe there is something magic here that I'm missing, I'd like to hear from someone who truly enjoys this game. Samchez enjoyed it significantly more than me, will hopefully be able to post his thoughts later. This also marks the beginning of a lot of repetitive games that we are going to slog through, on our quest for the shoot 'em up and beat 'em up gems we started this project for.


Maybe some of my ennui comes from the lack of goal in this game. At least in Joust and Mario Bros., while the games are endless and only get harder, you get rewarded with additional lives. I know that, within a few years and not too many more games, we'll start to see things like endings and continues. For now though, we are going to be in the weird abstract pre-narrative era of games.